Blackfyr (blackfyr) wrote in bayareajobless,

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Information Age J.O.A.T. (Jack Of All Trades) seeks compatible employer

OK, I'm desperate for a job right now. It seems my lovely wife's employers have decided that keeping her on past Tuesday makes no business sense to them, so they're letting her go.

This means that I need outside work NOW. My home-based business is not taking off at a speed that will help take up the slack and must be mostly abandoned for the sake of survival. Any help and pointers to specific jobs would be appreciated. My resume is available in multiple formats at my resume page. Hers is not up to date so we'll be rewriting it shortly.

As for what I have and can do:
  • I can do QA work at black box-level on almost any platform. I have taken C++ & Java classes, so I can do some grey- and white-box testing for products in those languages.

  • I also have experience doing desktop publishing (PageMaker and InDesign), having multiple publications from daily newsletters to posters to books in various paid and volunteer positions for several years.

  • I have Mad Skillz with Photoshop (witness my artwork at Broken Hexagon Studios, where all the artwork was done on Photoshop) and am competent with Illustrator. I think the last two items could qualify me as a Graphic Artist.

  • I have acted as a webmaster for a non-profit corporation for 3+ years, updating web pages and supervising a small staff. I speak HTML, CSS & Java, and I read Javascript.

  • I can think around corners and find unique solutions to problems, even in areas I haven't had training in.

  • I am also talented in translating tech-speak to user and vice-versa.

What I don't have and can't do:
  • I don't have any degrees. I have spent an accumulated 10 years in various colleges, learning all manner of things, but have not received any degrees - primarily due to the need to continue eating occasionally. That said, I have taken multiple courses in computer science, programming, linguistics, communications, translation, paralegal, and science.

  • I don't have any certifications, though I have fixed many computer (both PC & Macs) and can set up basic configurations on most platforms up to and including setting them up on networks. Again, there's the eating thing that got in the way of the paperwork.

  • I don't seem to be very good at running a business, which is what I've been trying to do for the last couple of years.

  • While I can communicate effectively, I have great difficulty in saying things that are not true. I even find it difficult to use social lying in my speech. This can at times be something of a detriment, but I have found that most people like being told the truth.

What I want:
I want a job that makes me glad to be going to work. Barring that, I want a job that will pay the bills and let us build up something of a reserve in case emergencies happen. Make me an offer, and we'll talk.

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  • 1 comment
Hi my name is Morgan Shelly. I saw your post and I am actually expanding a business in that area. I deal with an identity theft product and since it is the fastest growing crime in America we are exploding in some different places and looking for some sharp people. I would love to get you some information and her. My email is